The Sixth Day of Christmas
The Sixth Day of Christmas: Feast of the Holy Family
by Chris Pipkin
So here’s a yuletide newsflash: Christmas is probably not about spending time with your family. I realize that such a statement flies in the face of a century or so of accumulated commercial Christmas wisdom—the hundreds of inoffensive plays, television specials, and songs where a family finds the “true meaning of Christmas” after losing its source of income, and as a result its members learn to appreciate each other. I’m not saying this is a bad thing to learn. Obviously, relationships do make us happier than getting stuff, and families are important and good. But the effect of this repeated message is to intensify the loneliness of those who are—for whatever reason—separated from their own families at Christmas. Not only have their loved ones been taken from them, but so has (if the holiday specials are right) an essential aspect of Christmas.
Obviously, it’s good to spend time with your family during Christmas, if you have one. It’s probably even your duty. But Christmas is not really about your family, any more than it’s about your presents. We want both, but can do without them if necessary.
Instead, Christmas is about how a transcendent and immutable God became our family, and gave us his own. This is a gift that all people are in need of, whether they already have a family or not. And it is a gift that God gives throughout the year—though it is possible that Christmas, with its potential darkness, loneliness, and time off from ordinary routine, might make us more aware of our need for it. If this is you, take courage—your heartbreak very well may be a prelude to fulfillment and wholeness beyond that experienced by most human beings. Draw near, and ask him to draw even nearer.
The Feast Day of the Holy Family is a comparatively recent feast day, and it is mainly celebrated by Roman Catholics. But I think all Christians can benefit from the remembrance of the Holy Family, as surely as they can all benefit from a Methodist hymn like “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing,” or an Anglican devotional writer like C.S. Lewis. The original idea behind the Feast (begun in the 17th Century) is that Christians should use the Holy Family (meaning Jesus, Mary, and Joseph) as a pattern for their own families.
Initially, this sounds misguided, especially to cynical moderns. It sounds a bit like the well-meaning Christmas carols that have lyrics like:
And through all His wondrous childhood
He would honor and obey,
Love and watch the lowly maiden,
In whose gentle arms He lay:
Christian children all must be
Mild, obedient, good as He.
For he is our childhood’s pattern…”
(From Once in Royal David’s City)
The whole thing sounds like a watered-down variant of the Adoptionist heresy: “Be good, like Jesus (or Mary) was, and God will adopt you too. Make sure to be a perfect, attractive member of a perfect, attractive family.” Yet it’s important to note that, in Scripture, while Jesus, Mary, and Joseph were characterized by their wholehearted response to God, the descriptions we get of their interactions—I mean the ones drawn from the Gospels rather than from imagination or legend—are complex, full of wrinkles, and by no means cheap. Joseph plans to break off his betrothal to Mary (essentially, to divorce her) when he finds out she is pregnant with Jesus; they have to run away to Egypt; they lose Jesus when he is twelve, and when they catch up with him, he essentially rebukes them and alludes to the fact that Joseph is not his real dad; when he grew up, according to John 7, “not even his brothers believed in him”; critics of his ministry call him a Samaritan, alluding to his potentially non-Jewish parentage; and when people do tell him, “Blessed is the womb that bore you and the breasts that gave you suck,” Jesus himself responds, “Blessed rather are those who know and do the will of God.” To top it all off, while he makes arrangements for Mary from the cross (last minute, anyone?), Jesus’ manner of death brings lasting shame upon her and her late husband. Only the Resurrection changes it all, and it’s not likely that most of Mary’s acquaintances, neighbors, and extended family even believed in that. There is nothing especially tidy or obviously exemplary, in other words, about the Holy Family. This is part of the reason I love the above painting. They are fleeing to Egypt, and they look a bit like they’re quarreling—Joseph keeping his distance from Mary and looking sheepish, while she looks downright peeved with him about something. Presumably, no one besides the viewer of the painting is able to see their halos, marking them out as saintly. And yet, the halos are there.
“[I]t is only when human beings give priority to the transcendent—to God himself—that they are able to stop idolizing human relationships. They are, paradoxically, more free to give themselves to each other when they are themselves centered on God. But they will rarely fit the image other people have of “the perfect family” when they do. They will be better, though not everyone will recognize their oddly tilting halos, aligned with heaven’s horizon rather than earth’s “
If they are the least dysfunctional family ever, they have a funny way of showing it. But they are exemplary, all the same, and more than exemplary. Joseph does plan to divorce Mary at first, but he does what he can to reduce scandal for the sake of a woman who (as far as he knows) has betrayed him. He decides to marry her anyway in response to a dream. He could have turned over, gone back to sleep, and had a conventional, easy, stable (so to speak) family life with someone else, but he decided to believe the dream actually was a message from God. Mary, meanwhile, could have responded to God’s invitation with a simple, “No thanks!” She could have refused to become God’s family, preferring instead her own good reputation and uncomplicated life. Jesus, meanwhile, could have done everything his earthly parents (who were not omniscient) expected of him, but he did his Father’s will instead.
All three of them, as I said before, were characterized by a wholehearted response to God. And, in fact, I believe they did love each other and serve each other, because it is only when human beings give priority to the transcendent—to God himself—that they are able to stop idolizing human relationships. They are, paradoxically, more free to give themselves to each other when they are themselves centered on God. But they will rarely fit the image other people have of “the perfect family” when they do. They will be better, though not everyone will recognize their oddly tilting halos, aligned with heaven’s horizon rather than earth’s.
They, of course, are not only a model, but a gift to us. Jesus’ mother and earthly father become ours as well (“Son, behold Thy Mother”). And his brothers–all believers–become our brothers too. Even if those on this side of death so often forget it, it’s a fact, and we can love them like brothers. Most of all, he is able to give us his own family because he first gives us his true Father, and we are fully adopted, wrinkles, complications and all. Our ultimate Holy Family is the Holy Trinity; the love that exists between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit that is at its heart transmutes our very selves and our relationships into a particular and peculiar sanctity. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, always relating to one another in mutual delight, draw us to their table to, in George Herbert’s words, “sit and eat.” And the amazing thing is that this is a gift to us not only from the Trinity, but also from his family on earth, whose choice of the Perfect made them so very flawed, yet so very fulfilled.
December 30
Activities
If possible, spend time with family, prioritizing them over work, hobbies, social media, etc.
- Handwrite a few thank-you notes for the Christmas gifts you’ve received so far, and send them.
- Take some time to meditate on Rublev’s “Holy Trinity” icon
- Pore over a few of the phrases in the Chesterton poem below
- What does it mean that “Men are homesick in their homes”? What in the world is Chesterton talking about?
presents!
Gift Giving
- Give one of the gifts you did not give on Christmas Day
- Print photos and make someone a scrapbook featuring family members or other people you both knew or know.
- Buy or create a visual or verbal devotional aid for someone else—a devotional poem, icon, illustrated Scripture verse, etc.
- NO CASH OPTION: Write a note of appreciation (or song) to a family member, commenting on how their specific personality (completely unique) has fit them for the particular role they have played in your life (as son, father, mother, husband, wife, etc.).
G.K. Chesterton, “Christmas Poem”
Literature
By G.K. Chesterton
There fared a mother driven forth
Out of an inn to roam;
In the place where she was homeless
All men are at home.
The crazy stable close at hand,
With shaking timber and shifting sand,
Grew a stronger thing to abide and stand
Than the square stones of Rome.
For men are homesick in their homes,
And strangers under the sun,
And they lay their heads in a foreign land
Whenever the day is done.
Here we have battle and blazing eyes,
And chance and honour and high surprise,
But our homes are under miraculous skies
Where the yule tale was begun.
A child in a foul stable,
Where the beasts feed and foam;
Only where He was homeless
Are you and I at home;
We have hands that fashion and heads that know,
But our hearts we lost—how long ago!
In a place no chart nor ship can show
Under the sky’s dome.
This world is wild as an old wife’s tale,
And strange the plain things are,
The earth is enough and the air is enough
For our wonder and our war;
But our rest is as far as the fire-drake swings
And our peace is put in impossible things
Where clashed and thundered unthinkable wings
Round an incredible star.
To an open house in the evening
Home shall all men come,
To an older place than Eden
And a taller town than Rome.
To the end of the way of the wandering star,
To the things that cannot be and that are,
To the place where God was homeless
And all men are at home.
Prayer
Almighty God, you have poured upon us the new light of your incarnate Word: Grant that this light, enkindled in our hearts, may shine forth in our lives; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen. (From the Book of Common Prayer)
Daily Scripture
Use a lectionary from your own tradition:
Alternatively, use one or more of the following readings:
Old Testament
Ruth 1
1 In the days when the judges ruled there was a famine in the land, and a man of Bethlehem in Judah went to sojourn in the country of Moab, he and his wife and his two sons. 2 The name of the man was Elimelech and the name of his wife Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Chilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem in Judah. They went into the country of Moab and remained there. 3 But Elimelech, the husband of Naomi, died, and she was left with her two sons. 4 These took Moabite wives; the name of the one was Orpah and the name of the other Ruth. They lived there about ten years, 5 and both Mahlon and Chilion died, so that the woman was left without her two sons and her husband.
6 Then she arose with her daughters-in-law to return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the fields of Moab that the Lord had visited his people and given them food. 7 So she set out from the place where she was with her two daughters-in-law, and they went on the way to return to the land of Judah. 8 But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go, return each of you to her mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. 9 The Lord grant that you may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband!” Then she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and wept. 10 And they said to her, “No, we will return with you to your people.” 11 But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? 12 Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, 13 would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.” 14 Then they lifted up their voices and wept again. And Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.
15 And she said, “See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.” 16 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” 18 And when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.
19 So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. And when they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them. And the women said, “Is this Naomi?” 20 She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. 21 I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”
22 So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabite her daughter-in-law with her, who returned from the country of Moab. And they came to Bethlehem at the beginning of barley harvest.
Isaiah 11 (DRA)
And there shall come forth a rod out of the root of Jesse, and a flower shall rise up out of his root.
2 And the spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him: the spirit of wisdom, and of understanding, the spirit of counsel, and of fortitude, the spirit of knowledge, and of godliness.
3 And he shall be filled with the spirit of the fear of the Lord. He shall not judge according to the sight of the eyes, nor reprove according to the hearing of the ears.
4 But he shall judge the poor with justice, and shall reprove with equity for the meek of the earth: land he shall strike the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips he shall slay the wicked.
5 And justice shall be the girdle of his loins: and faith the girdle of his reins.
6 The wolf shall dwell with the lamb: and the leopard shall lie down with the kid: the calf and the lion, and the sheep shall abide together, and a little child shall lead them.
7 The calf and the bear shall feed: their young ones shall rest together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
8 And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp: and the weaned child shall thrust his hand into the den of the basilisk.
9 They shall not hurt, nor shall they kill in all my holy mountain, for the earth is filled with the knowledge of the Lord, as the covering waters of the sea.
10 In that day the root of Jesse, who standeth for an ensign of the people, him the Gentiles shall beseech, and his sepulchre shall be glorious.
11 And it shall come to pass in that day, that the Lord shall set his hand the second time to possess the remnant of his people, which shall be left from the Assyrians, and from Egypt, and from Phetros, and from Ethiopia, and from Elam, and from Sennaar, and from Emath, and from the islands of the sea.
12 And he shall set up a standard unto the nations, and shall assemble the fugitives of Israel, and shall gather together the dispersed of Juda from the four quarters of the earth.
13 And the envy of Ephraim shall be taken away, and the enemies of Juda shall perish: Ephraim shall not envy Juda, and Juda shall not fight against Ephraim.
14 But they shall fly upon the shoulders of the Philistines by the sea, they together shall spoil the children of the east: Edom, and Moab shall be under the rule of their hand, and the children of Ammon shall be obedient.
15 And the Lord shall lay waste the tongue of the sea of Egypt, and shall lift up his hand over the river in the strength of his spirit: and he shall strike it in the seven streams, so that men may pass through it in their shoes.
16 And there shall be a highway for the remnant of my people, which shall be left from the Assyrians: as there was for Israel in the day that he came up out of the land of Egypt.
Psalm 146 (KJV)
Praise ye the Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul.
2 While I live will I praise the Lord: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being.
3 Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.
4 His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish.
5 Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God:
6 Which made heaven, and earth, the sea, and all that therein is: which keepeth truth for ever:
7 Which executeth judgment for the oppressed: which giveth food to the hungry. The Lord looseth the prisoners:
8 The Lord openeth the eyes of the blind: the Lord raiseth them that are bowed down: the Lord loveth the righteous:
9 The Lord preserveth the strangers; he relieveth the fatherless and widow: but the way of the wicked he turneth upside down.
10 The Lord shall reign for ever, even thy God, O Zion, unto all generations. Praise ye the Lord.
New Testament
Ephesians 5:15-6:4 (ESV)
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise,16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart,20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Children and Parents6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Luke 2:41-52
41 Now [Jesus’] parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. 42 And when he was twelve years old, they went up according to custom. 43 And when the feast was ended, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. His parents did not know it, 44 but supposing him to be in the group they went a day’s journey, but then they began to search for him among their relatives and acquaintances,45 and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, searching for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers.48 And when his parents saw him, they were astonished. And his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been searching for you in great distress.” 49 And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” 50 And they did not understand the saying that he spoke to them. 51 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.
52 And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.
Sing With joy
Christmas Carols
Nowell Sing We
Nowell sing we, both all and some
Now Rex pacificus is come.
1. Exortum Est in love and lysse.
Now Christ His grace He gan us gysse,
And with His body us bought to bliss,
Both all and some.
2. De Fructu ventris of Mary bright,
Both God and man in her alight,
Out of disease He did us dight,
Both all and some.
3. Puer natus to us was sent,
To bliss us bought, fro bale us blent,
And else to woe we had ywent,
Both all and some.
4. Lux fulgebit with love and light,
In Mary mild His pennon pight,
In her took kind with manly might,
Both all and some.
5. Gloria Tibi ay and bliss,
God unto His grace He us wysse,
The rent of heaven that we not miss,
Both all and some.
O Little Town of Bethlehem
1. O little town of Bethlehem,
how still we see thee lie;
above thy deep and dreamless sleep
the silent stars go by.
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
the everlasting light;
the hopes and fears of all the years
are met in thee tonight.
2. For Christ is born of Mary,
and gathered all above,
while mortals sleep, the angels keep
their watch of wondering love.
O morning stars together,
proclaim the holy birth,
and praises sing to God the king,
and peace to all on earth!
3. How silently, how silently,
the wondrous gift is given;
so God imparts to human hearts
the blessings of his heaven.
No ear may hear his coming,
but in this world of sin,
where meek souls will receive him, still
the dear Christ enters in.
4. O holy Child of Bethlehem,
descend to us, we pray;
cast out our sin, and enter in,
be born in us today.
We hear the Christmas angels
the great glad tidings tell;
o come to us, abide with us,
our Lord Emmanuel!
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